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Saturday, 25 February 2017

I'm Back Bitches | Update #1

Howdy and welcome to my long put off, first of many, catch up posts. I dipped my toe back into the waters of blogging with a book review I posted just over a month ago - which you can read here. And while I still don't feel ready to push myself to put 100% into blogging right now for fear of it feeling like a chore and losing the enjoyment completely, I do want to start trying to get back on track. So I figured it was about time I gave a little bit of an update on how I am and what I've been up to since I dropped off the face of the earth.

I think we can all agree that 2016 was a pretty shit year on every level. Please don't come at me with the 'life is what you make of it' sentiment. I won't thank you for it. Sometimes life is just shit, no matter what you try to make of it. Heh, I should write greeting cards.

At the 30th of October my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. It really came as a shock to us all and quite quickly the whole family dynamic changed as everyone rallied around her as she came to terms with things. She was very heavily involved in my grandparent's care and so my dad and his brothers had to fill in for her as well as be there for her.

My other aunt, Eileen, ended up coming home from Australia for three weeks to be with my aunt Karen during her operation. My aunt Karen is single and therefore lives by herself so it was so helpful to have my aunt Eileen, who had also recently been through breast cancer, be there with her through the early days.

At the beginning of December my older sister, Jann, also came home for a week to see my aunt Karen. She really took the whole diagnosis the worst out my me and and my sisters, I think because she lives in London and wasn't here with us all. As such, coming home really did her the world of good. It was also really nice for us to have her home and get to spend time with her. My favourite thing we did during her week home was going to see Moana and then we decorated gingerbread houses. The film was amazing and while the gingerbread houses crumbled before we could put them together, they were fun while they lasted. My aunt Karen enjoyed herself too.


Another of my favourite memories from the week was when we visited my aunt Karen, the night before my aunt Eileen was due to go home, and we help her decorate her Christmas tree. We used to do this as children but we stopped for some reason. It felt really nostalgic and we laughed and sang along to Christmas carols.


Around that same time my mum's sister, Marie, came to stay with my parents for a couple of days. She has hard a hard life and hasn't been well in the last while, especially after my granny passed away, and I think it was really good for both her and my mum to have that time together. Eva and I were away at the Friendship Four that weekend so we only go to see her on the day before she went home. I hadn't seen her since I was a child so it was fun catching up with her and hearing all her funny stories. I wish I'd have had longer with her. Maybe next time. 

A few days before Christmas my aunt Karen had her first chemo treatment. I think it felt like everything was moving very fast, from her diagnosis, her operation and then starting treatment. However, I think as scary as it was for her, she was happy because the sooner it got underway the sooner it would be over. Even if that meant she felt unwell over Christmas. 

Jann came home again for two days over Christmas. She had that stay planned before my aunt Karen's diagnosis and decided to keep it anyway. It was our first Christmas with my parents living in their apartment and me and Eva sharing our own home. It was also the first Christmas with my granny living in a care home. I was happy that Jann was a part of this first new Christmas and we spent the holiday together. A lot of our traditions changed and and we did some new things but although it was very different to every Christmas I've had since I was a child, it didn't feel any lesser. I had been worried that Christmas would be the point I felt like adulthood, boring and grey adulthood, had finally hit. That I would feel like most of my other adult friends when it comes to Christmas. Like it's a children's holiday that they tolerate. I was so glad that it didn't feel like that at all. Christmas was different but it was really great. 

I wish I had more photos from during Christmas but when I decided to take a blog break, I also decided to just live in the moment. Stop worrying about catching memories and just make them instead. It really was a weight off and I feel like it helped me focus on what's important.

That's just a snippet of what's been happening since I took a break but I think that's enough for now. During this time I was going through some mental health related stuff that I think I'll go into a little more in a separate post. I know I can get a little wordy at times and this post is long enough already.

I hope everyone has been well these last few months and I look forward to getting back on track.

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