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Friday, 29 September 2017

Bloo Does Poetry | a generic love poem

"Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words."
Robert Frost

Rocking some red eye circa 2006.
Howdy everyone and welcome to today's post. Today I'm going to talk about something else that happened during my blogging absence (yes, I'm really not doing well at focusing on the future...) and that was reigniting my love of poetry. Throughout my teenage years I was goth/emo and obviously awful poetry came along with the gig. I really wish I could find some of those poems to show you and maybe some day I will embarrass myself by doing just that. However, my ability to make myself vulnerable in the way of writing my more dark or intense feelings as poetry slowly left me. I was too self conscious, even if nobody was going to see it. But while I was away I stumbled upon Slam Poetry and fell in love. Not only was I in awe of the poetic genius and the power behind some of the poems but also the poet's ability to stand up in front of an audience and bare their soul like that, with such conviction. I plan to write a post in the future about some of my favourite poems and poets but that's not what I'm doing today. While I may not have my old embarrassing poems to show you, today I'm going to share with you a much more recent embarrassing poem that I wrote.

Tuesday, 26 September 2017

Long Distance Besties | Meeting Dominic

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it."
Hubert H. Humphrey

Howdy, readers. Welcome to today's post. I know I said in my last post that I'm going to concentrate on the future but what I meant by that was that I'm not going to go way back and write about all the things I've been up to this year. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to write about anything before that post. So in today's post I'm going to tell you about the awesome week I had last week and how it came about.

As I mentioned in my last post, back in November I became obsessed with a Norwegian teen drama called Skam. Along with that obsession came an amazing fandom and a group of friends. It was like no other fandom I had ever been part of or show that I'd watched. It was more than a show, it was an experience. The way in which Skam was released was completely unique. Each episode was made up of a number of clips that were released throughout the week in real time. Meaning you never knew when a clip would drop. More than that, each character had social media accounts that would be updated randomly and they'd show you text messages and group chats between characters, bringing a whole new level of realism to the show. It was easy to be sucked in and nobody understood that more than the others that had been sucked in a long with you or that you'd met in the pit of Skam addiction.

While I met an abundance of amazing and wonderful people through Skam, I never quite imagined how close some of those friendships would become. I wish I could give you all a shout out but chances are I'd forget one of you and then I'd feel awful. But I digress, I met and connected with some of the most cool and like minded people I'd ever come across but even knowing that, I never could have imagined I'd actually meet one of those people in person! And last week, I had the opportunity to do just that.

Sunday, 24 September 2017

I'm back, bitches! ...again

Howdy and welcome to my first post in forever! Back at the end of February, I wrote an 'I'm back!' update post. It was supposed to be the first of many after a four, maybe almost five, month hiatus. I then also wrote a small post for rare disease day, after which I fell off the face of the blogging earth again. Back when I wrote those posts, I had fully intended on getting back into the swing of things again but it quickly became apparent that I wasn't ready yet.

The hiatus had come out of nowhere the first time round. I just felt like I needed some time to just enjoy life without worrying about my blog. A blog that was supposed to be fun but soon made me feel like I was wasting an opportunity any time I decided to just enjoy the moment rather than stopping to take an abundance of photos for the inevitable blog post I'd write later. It didn't help that I'd been absorbed into a Norwegian teen drama called Skam and was spending the majority of my time on Tumblr with my Skam fandom friends, waiting for the latest Skam content to drop. So I decided to abandon ship for a while and concentrate on other things I enjoyed at the time because truthfully, I wasn't enjoying blogging. 

Things got a little more serious after February. I'm not going to go too into detail but if I thought my mental health wasn't 100% in the few months before then, it really went down hill after that. My panic attacks came back and I became very paranoid. A lot of my paranoia centred around the internet and that's when I took my blog down and began to reevaluate if I wanted to continue with it at all. If you follow me on social media, you may or may not have noticed I changed a lot of my info online, deleted a lot of content and in some cases deleted profiles and accounts altogether.

Honestly, it was a very intense and scary time and while I'm still not 100% and I'm still actively keeping on top of my anxiety and irrational thoughts, I'm doing a lot better. I'm at least at a point where posting content online doesn't make me feel immense fear. The worries are still there, under the surface but I'm more on top of them now. I'm sure this is in large part due to the fact I was prescribed antidepressants for the anxiety. 

Almost a year has passed since I've blogged routinely and it's safe to say I'm actually starting to miss it. I had thought about starting over, maybe concentrating on writing reviews. Something a little less personal, that'd make me feel less vulnerable. However, I've never been very good at keeping to a niche or a theme. And while I love writing reviews, I also loved writing about things that people really connect with. I loved writing about important things, sharing my experiences or opinions and creating a dialogue with others and having the opportunity to learn from each other. I really don't want some irrational fears getting in the way of that. 

So what does that mean? It means I'm going to take things day by day, post by post and I'm going to ease myself back in but I'm not going to take anything off the table. I'm not going to box myself or my blog, in. But rather than focusing on updates on things I've been up to while I was gone, I'm going to concentrate on the future. I'm also going to make sure I take time to enjoy things in the moment too, find more of a balance than I had before.

I'm looking forward to getting stuck back into creating content, building up my blog again and reconnecting with those of my old readers that have stuck around and the new people that might stop by in the future. I hope everyone has been good and 2017 has treated you well so far. It's hard to believe we're basically on the count down to 2018 already. Let's hope I can make the rest of the blogging year count!

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