
"What's your prognosis?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"I was only going into the store for five minutes." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"What happened to you?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"What's it like to have sex in a wheelchair?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Oh, we can lift your 25 stone wheelchair up the steps no problem." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Can you feel your legs?"— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"How come you're moving your legs?"#shitabledpeoplesay
"You could work if you REALLY wanted to." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"MOST disabled people on benefits are scroungers. Like, not you but most of them." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"It's just a film." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"I have nothing against disabled people but I just don't want my son/daughter having to be a carer for their partner." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"I'm not ableist just because I like/support an ableist film." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Have you ever thought of taking up a sport? I saw the Paralympics and it was awesome." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
As I've touched upon a little, I think it's important to realise while this hashtag may have been #shitabledpeoplesay it was by no means directed at ALL abled people. We shouldn't have to say that every time this type of thing comes up. What we mean is that these things are said predominantly by abled people to disabled people. But still, even as a disabled person I found the #shitabledpeoplesay hashtag a learning experience. The disabled community is extremely diverse and that means there are a lot of disabilities I am ignorant of. I'm sure there have been many times I've said something ableist or acted ableist out of sheer ignorance. It's my duty to educate myself and do better. It's your duty too.
"Do you do your own makeup?" 🤔 #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"You're really lucky to have a family that doesn't mind looking after you." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Have you thought about getting a bionic exoskeleton?"— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Would you want a bionic exoskeleton?"#shitabledpeoplesay
Me: "I'm a wheelchair user."— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
Them: "Oh wow, that sucks! I'm really sorry to hear that... ☹😭😢😳🙁😔😖"#shitabledpeoplesay
When you mention your ex and they're like "Was he disabled too?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"You don't seem disabled."— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"You're not how I imagine a disabled person to be."
"You're not like most disabled people." #shitabledpeoplesay
"Yeah but it's an old building so like there's not much they/we can do." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"If you had three wishes would you wish you weren't disabled?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Tbh I don't even see your disability. You're just like a normal person to me." 👏🏻 #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
To my mum when I was diagnosed at three: "You don't seem the type to have a disabled child." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
About inaccessible places: "Meh, you wouldn't want to go up/down there. It sucks anyway." 👍🏻 #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Wait, you're not a virgin?" 😱 #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
While I found the hashtag to be a learning experience, it was also extremely cathartic. It was also a source of validation. The ableism we face every day is often isolating. We're made to feel that we shouldn't complain because people are just doing their best, regardless of whether that's actually true or not. We're told that good intentions mean we don't have the right to tell people when something is not okay. We have to put the feelings of abled people above our own constantly. This silencing leads us to bottle up a lot of what we go through and feeling like maybe we're being petty, maybe nobody else would have a problem with these things. This hashtag validated my feelings. It showed me that others do feel the same. I'm not alone in my discomfort or annoyance. I am not petty.
"You don't look disabled. You just look like you're anorexic or something." 🤔 #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Knowing what you know about your disability do you think it's fair a mother would choose not to have an abortion?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
Gynecologist: "Are you sexually active, no?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"I just think if disabled people want to be treated like abled people they shouldn't expect special treatment." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"I think I could probably date a disabled person tbh." 👍🏻 #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"Have you ever tried steroids to build up your muscles?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"You wouldn't be long putting on weight if you ate a few burgers." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"I don't know why it has to be a disabled actor. Isn't that the point of acting?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
Me: "I have a muscle wasting disease."— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
Them: "Disease is such an ugly word. You should say condition."#shitabledpeoplesay
Applying to a Grammar School: "Do you think it's fair to take place of a abled person with a better life expectancy?" #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"You don't need a seat belt in my taxi (while seated in my wheelchair). I'm a careful driver." #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"If you can do it yourself why do you ask for help?" (Because it's 100x easier/faster for you...😒) #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"I know but the Paralympics isn't proper sport." #ShitAbledPeopleSay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 16, 2016
"You've got cynical in your old age..." (In relation to FINALLY finding my voice & speaking about disability issues) #shitabledpeoplesay— Bloo 'n' Stuff ⛅ (@BloonStuff) July 17, 2016
At the end of the day we need to be able to speak out and raise our voices. We need to be able to educate people. That's how change happens. You may disagree with the hashtag and you may worry that the language alienates abled people. That using provocative language only serves to make people feel attacked and defensive. I may have said the same in the past but then I realised that you aren't going to wake people with whispers. You don't wake them up by tip toeing around them. You poke the bear. Shake it awake.
If you read this post and the thing you take away from it is how it makes you feel as an abled person then you really need to sit down and take stock of your privilege. And I say that as someone who has had to do the same thing multiple times in different situations because we can all be a little ignorant and self-involved at times. The important thing is to work on it. Get yourself out of the 'how does this make me feel' headspace and really listen to what is being said. You learn so much more.
Can't fkin believe some of these...
ReplyDelete... Though I could totally see one or two being said by me before!
... Still, want to find some of these people and do some violence on them :p
Thankyou for sharing this post, hopefully people who've said ableist things before will realise how shit they are actually being and stop saying things like that. Following the #shitabledpeoplesay hashtag was pretty helpful for my mental health in a way because it reminded me that I'm not alone in dealing with ableist comments. Although, I was also really angered by some of the things people had said to other disabled people and thought it was okay to say those things!
ReplyDeleteSarah | Raiin Monkey